4 ways to support someone with Inflammatory Bowel Disease
Crohns and Colitis doesn’t just affect the person living with these conditions it can also affect family and friends too. I often get asked how to best support a loved one with IBD and many people worry about how they can help so I’ve put together some tips below which I hope will help.
Ask questions and listen
Asking questions can give the person space to fully express how they are feeling and what they’re going through and it will help you to understand their experience better so you can empathise. Reassuring them that they are not a burden to you can be important too as this is something people with IBD often worry about. Checking in regularly with the person to see how they are doing can help to give them the opportunity to talk if they want to.
Don't try & fix it
Crohns and Colitis are life-long chronic conditions and although it can be hard to see someone you care about having a difficult time, try to resist the urge to offer quick fixes to what they’re going through. Chances are they may have tried a number of things already and what has worked for one person may not work for another as everyone is different. Just talking can be really powerful, so unless they’ve asked for advice directly, it might be best just to listen.
Keep a sense of humour
Some of the symptoms that come with having IBD can be embarrassing but keeping a sense of humour about it can help to make them feel better. This can help them realise that they don’t need to be embarrassed about their symptoms in front of you. Make sure though you are laughing with someone and not at them though, there can be a fine line so be careful with this one!
Be patient
Crohn’s and Colitis can be very unpredictable, one day you can feel good and the next symptoms can flare up, which can make planning things in advance more difficult. The person may not know how they are going to feel from day to day and whether they will be up to doing something. People with IBD often feel worried about letting people down if they have to cancel plans so it’s important to understand that it’s out of their control if their symptoms flare up or if they are fatigued and reassure them that it’s no trouble to make adjustments if needed.
When planning trips or outings, people with IBD may feel anxious about going somewhere where there might not be a loo or they may seem fussy about where they can eat. Quick access to loos can be really crucial for someone with IBD so bearing that in mind when organising things and keeping an eye out yourself for where the loos are so you can help them. I have the best inbuild loo radar ever now and my sister is really good at this and always points out the loos wherever we go which makes me feel safer! Someone with IBD may have a strict diet or things they cannot eat which help them to manage their symptoms so being understanding of this when choosing somewhere to eat can be helpful – perhaps allowing them to choose can help reduce anxiety around this.
I have written a free e-book to help you find a way forward for your everyday life with Inflammatory Bowel Disease. Whether you are right at the beginning of your journey with IBD or have been living with your condition for years and feel like you have tried almost everything, there are things you can do everyday, beyond the medication you are taking, to help you take back control.